Bummed

I am to the point of being overwhelmed again. Work is too much. The kids are too much. The house is too much. Michael’s been out of town. His job search is becoming depressing. The dissertation is too much for me. I’m worn out.

I’m tired of hearing it will all work out. When it is right, things will fall into place. I don’t feel like it anymore. I feel like we could be in this cycle for a long time.

I’ve spent my time doing as much as I can, other than work. I have 40 projects and I’m at the point of paralysis – where do I start? who do I call first? who is going to scream loudly if they don’t get dates soon….? If I ignore it – will it go away? No. It will only get worse. I know this, yet I’m stuck in this mode.

Michael’s dissertation is exactly where it was a month ago. He finished all 5 chapters, sent it to his co-chair and is waiting. He hasn’t heard a single word. I am beginning to wonder if it will ever get done. I know he is sensing that too.

He comes home today from Hartford, CT. The best part of his visit was the two days he got to spend with his brother in NYC. The interview went poorly. This has been very taxing on him – interviews back to back – out of town with only days in between visits.

Ok, enough pity party. I need to get back to work.